Transformer is AWESOME!!!!!!!!

The best rating among my church gang for Transformer 2: 7/10 ( and half of them rated it 7! I still don’t get it)

Lowest rating: 4 (the one and only 4 from someone who I believe has a finer taste in movies)

I gave it a 5 as it has yet to beat some of the worst horror flick I watched in cinema. Still, I did not enjoy it as much as the first one.  ALL of them agreed upon this statement. Same length but the lengthiness was wearing me down this time. I saw Revenge of the Fallen at Imax which is probably why I managed to stay awake (full blown pixels and the overuse of close-ups kept my eyes enthralled, expand to their widest).

As before, the focus was on the two warring robots— the noble Autobots and the evil Decepticons , with youngsters Sam  (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela (Megan Fox) offering their support to the good ‘bots. But the emotional bond shared in the predecessor was lost in this sequel. There were too many endless loop of battles-destruction-explosion- that it gets tedious. Fast. At one point, I gave up figuring out which robot is pummeling which. And why is the Gulf and pyramids of Egypt being used for every movie blockbuster over and over again? It’s annoying. You see it in Indiana Jones, The Mummy, Alien vs. Predator, National Treasure and I bet you can name me some more. And the plot to the symbols encryption finding was a downright insult to our intellect. All the annoying superficial intellect talk was simply boring.

So you ask, there must be a memorable character in saving grace of the cheesy plot? Oh yes, lotsa memorable cheesy characters with cheesy dialogues I’d say. Bay must have wanted to blend action with comedy but sad to say, it doesn’t work that way. One wonders why Sam’s parents, Sam’s dorky roommate, Sam’s new found hot chick turned decepticon (a combo version of Species and terminator 3) and yes, even Sam’s perfectly unblemished (oh yes we know she’s hot already) gf  are included in the movie. Maybe the lesser human interaction involved, the better. The most memorable scene? A close-up of Agent Simmons’s thong-clad butt.

Yes, watching Transformer is a peer pressure thing. Practically everyone my age is watching it. Nevertheless, I didn’t regret conforming this time around as it felt like a historical event I just had to go thru to make it memorable. I actually went to the same mall a year ago with the same group of ppl (plus some additional members). Only this yesterday feeling doesn’t quite lift up to the feel- good feeling I felt a year ago when I came out from it. The only thing I felt good was watching a lousy movie with good friends I wouldn’t want to miss sharing my unworthy time with. Haha. Some of them are going for a re-watch to catch up what was missed in the first 10 minutes of the show. Bravo for trying to appreciate and understand the undecipherable sucky plot but, yeah count me out please.

current admiration

weight-weather likely cause

What is thy vision of perfection?

Part of his writing: 

ppl i truly open up to in tis world - 1. ppl i truly open up to and could partially open up to - 3. i don't reli have any special reason..i just tend to be tat way. those frens u refer to in my pics..well i spend time wit them during the course of the part- time jobs, outside it none whatsoever..no nothing really. in a way im ad closer to u than i am to MOST of everyone else. im just lidat..rather a very few super close ones than a lot of those im not close wit..n im not naturally inclined to make frens, snobbish some might c tis, but most of the time ppl just come to me, and its not tat i take them for granted, but most of the time i find it hard to find the interest, will, want, initiative, to remain close or on better terms. even for employment purposes, ur supposed to suck up to ur superiors, or at least 'stick' to them..but to me tis is hard, anyting above n beyond wat id normally do would be fake, and id be too self-conscious to carry on wit the fake operation, and plus the part abt me sayin im not very inclined to be tis sorta person..yea all in it, im reli an anti-social fella.

i know its wrong, seriosuly it is, cos communications n ppl reli drive u in the future, everyone has a chance of bein handy to u in the future..but if it boils down to such unsincere things (at least in my view it is unsincere..or is it insincrere? un in? haha im confusing myself)

pretending to care abt others more than u actually do is cruel? serious shit..tis is by far one of the most saintly things to do. to u its cruel, n u think to the other party its cruel bcos its a lie right?

here's wat i think. wat the other party does not know wil not hurt them. as far as tis is concerned, they r happier than if u did not even pretend to care. most of the time, deep down beneath all the layers, some parties would actually be more contented lying to themselves that the other party is caring abt them. at most tis is a white lie. actually, i'l tell u the ceiling, the threshold.

abt finding urself harder to get along wit, let me clarify tis first..do u mean u find urself harder for others to get along wit?

Part of my reply:

The thing about you is, you seem to know what is the good or virtuous values to commit to, but you lack the drive so much so u have to conclude it as “it’s just you”. Here, you are interpreting your identity as an abstract of the unspeakable- the imperfection that cannot be made right…like a physical defect.

If you don’t mind, here’s my interpretation: you might be anti-social by your nature just as I’m one indiscreetly by the force of environment. But I’d say we are all given a conscious choice whether we like it or not because it’s always our decision who we are.
The explanation cannot be just “it’s just you” now can it? The explanation for your behavior then boils down to 2 possibilities:

1) You are comfortable at this state you see no sense of urgency to change. Self-sufficiency. Nobody bothers to explain any wrongs in u anyway. (I think I am doing it haha.)
2) You think ppl. are broken in certain ways they can’t be fixed, and this is something you see in ppl every day. It’s just the way it is.

If no.2 is nearer to the mark you’re thinking, it is sadder because society indeed conspires to keep us ball and chained into thinking life is driven by the way we think we are, that no matter how much we want to change, progression is only beyond a certain point.

Most of us are unaware that we have them…these assumptions. We don’t question their accuracy or the shocking alternative to it. We assume the way we see things is the way they really are = our attitude and behavior grow out of these assumptions. The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we don’t.

Think about this deep. Why the reluctance to make friends? It’s not the snobbishness and you know it too. I think la… I think it’s because you are a sincere friend in the first place. Oh the shockingness. haha.

You don’t want to make polite conversation for the sake of it; you find it insincere (it is INsincere so don’t confuse me now haha) if you have to make friends just because they will come in “handy” and sincerity is perhaps the virtue you find lacking in ppl you met but before they can even show you any, you just…turned them away by your sheer belief that no sincerity will come out of it. If I were you (in fact this is what I apply to myself), I’d ditch the anti-social make-belief and give in to offering my part of sincerity without expecting anything at all. To just about anyone who comes my way.

I may have to start with fake polite conversation (in ur case, you probably don’t even have to be starting anything but you can TRY a warmer responding), and bring myself into realistic acceptance that most conversations were not made to be my interest, my broodiness, etc, etc.

The action may be oh well insincere but it won’t be fake cuz I am sincere enough to extend my friendship. That’s good enough. Who knows? Through it all, we may all find one or two lasting sincere friends just because we stop thinking we are meant to be anti-socials. Those who didn’t make it into the buddy list, well, I’m sure we can appreciate them in other categories.

¬-- abt finding urself harder to get along wit, let me clarify tis first..do u mean u find urself harder for others to get along wit?--

Haha, bear in mind I’m not contradicting myself here. That is why I mentioned I am an anti-social by force in the beginning…at least I’m not appearing to be one… Haha. I’m generally a very sociable person (as much as my sincerity can offer) but when the friendship grows emotionally intimate, I find myself harder for ppl to relate to (here is where I demand understanding cuz just sincerity won’t hold at this level).

I am the opposite of you. While u label yourself off as an anti-social, you have found at least ONE person you can truly truly open up to in this world. Me? I’m the person with many friends and yet I know the day I die, none would offer the testimonies that could really summarize my life or thoughts.... At least not presently.

The probable reason:

My self-introspection is frightfully phenomenal…While others are unsure of who they are and what they believe in, I’m sure of many, many things. E.g I am sure of my faith in Christ Jesus and it's not easy believing in this god who is so perfect he is demanding the same god-like perfection from me. haha.  You once said perfection is maybe just a picture you draw, a picture u dun have. perhaps there's really a perfect image, perhaps we've drawing the wrong pictures since. What I truly know is this, perfection can never be found in humanity. it's rotten because everybody paints his perfection with that big bright self-centredness blobs all over perfection. That pride when you think you deserve the right to own that applause. that praise. that appreciation. And Christians are no different. But real Christians ought to. I'm not there yet admitedly, but that perfect image is found in the God I believe in and unless I turn my idea of perfection on Him, there's no point talking about perfection unless I want to be perfect and believe I can be done. 

You know what, you are probably the kind of friend I have to open up a new list if I had to categorize friends in lists. Not that I have any but I think the reason for this surprisingly sustainable friendship ( looking at the history, we actually corresponded since jan 6th! ) is that we skip a whole lot of politeness by writing unflatteringly, those full-flank offences, attacking each other’s povs moments.

In a way, that is one major ingredient for a long lasting friendship. To know ppl who have a diff pov. To challenge ourselves, to know that we have stumble somewhere along our pride and stubbornness and I hope we can live the way we wanted to. I hope you live the life you wanted to, what truly makes u happy, don't give up on humanity, namely our failures. Period.

Out of the 16 letters we wrote, this is my first time talking about my faith to a friend I lost contact for 5 years. We have never spoken a word when we knew each other yet when we write, it feels like eternity. I don't know how we would finally end this; but I'm left with a burden each day to know that to be surrounded by 10/10 friends who do not know you is painful. Painful that I'm not urgent enough to love like you love. And I'm afraid that my ultimate highest purposeful love for this long lost friend : that is ultimately to point him to your direction is getting nowhere. Help them to see you, and renew my ever inconsistent love in you. Only when I'm most satisfied in you- abandoning my self-sufficiency and realising you are all I want- can you be most glorified to the highest. Amen.

C_K's last long entry of 2008

People of the Year:

Valerie- a superbly genuine friend who I can look up to have mature intimate, personal conversations. Also a very helpful friend. =)

-         Cecilia- the friend who, in her indecisive thoughts and blurness (but please don’t be the second Mark!) is a loyal listener and friend. Looking forward to our performing moments together. And guitar lessons as well. And sleepovers too!=p

-         Ethan- the only person I have yet to find the definition to describe our friendship. We admit to constantly hating (I mean to the extreme) each other but deep down I value our food- for- thought conversation a lot. Our ability to connect despite his uneasiness to relate to people outside his “type” goes beyond my logic. I guess it is illogical to like him as my friend, but I find this friendship beautiful. How ironic.

-         Michelle-  Her gila-ness/ chirpiness/abrupt maniacal laughter may be freakish to outsiders, but I find her quirkiness “comforting” and real. Also one of the few who I think has better capability than me to understand people. Hahaha. Appreciate her hospitality, timeless chats and care a lot.

-         Daniel Low- I find it surprising to include him here but it is indeed very necessary. Dislike him for his inveterate nonsense (so sorry. couldn’t find a much suitable word) the very first time I met him; thought we could just be a hi-bye friend, but he started calling me his “ta jie” (big sis) , and tada- a turn of good impression took place. He was also one of the very first to lend me his ears and encouragement when I fell into the pit I knew it was coming, yet stupidly went all the way deeper in the name of Hope.

-         Priscilla Boon- Had bad impression of her the first time I met her too. Unlike Daniel Low, she didn’t irritate me, but my instinct told me she was a smart alec- some one who is too high and mighty to talk to. But it turns out we blend in really well- INTERESTING. =p

-         Tien Yi/Ashley- She pops almost every single time I needed someone to talk to. Her sudden smses is almost like she could read my mind, calling for attention! Lolz. An intense delight and I certainly look forward to our spiritual growing together. To the young lady whom I envy her height:- Don’t ever forget me (haha sounds vain) and I’m all yours if you ever need someone to be there ( in a sisterly way lar…)

-         Those other “gang” I didn’t mention, I know u too well to mention anything new. But thank you all the same for your presence in church. Without your inanity and constant poking, I have no idea how “popular” I am. :P

-         Uncle ( I still insist on calling him uncle) David Tan, Aunty SC, Aunty SH, Aunty Ivy-  The wise ones. Although I still find their age and wisdom intimidating, please know that their  teaching ( The Tans) are deeply appreciated, and could be life changing at times, and the personal “lecture” from you-know-who could drill deep to the point where I need to breathe, relax , reflect and stop being sensitive. Of course there is "Teacher" Ivy for her relentless effort and faith in Semarak tuition. Also, for bringing Asian students (particularly fr. China and Korea) once in a year never fails to enlighten me. But one or two Jap friends will be sugoi since I love the language, the celebrities, the movies, the animes, and the dramas. Akira Kurosawa is an exception though. I’m more contemporary. Haha. So please let me meet one next year!

New Happenings/Experience:

-         Going Clubbing ( modern disco) for the first time just to celebrate a friend’s bday. Had to spend RM 50.00 just on drinks alone! I loathed it. Not the people but the environment. Hate the booming music, the crowd, the disco lights, the oh -please-dance part…let’s just say I’m not made for this kind of fun. Should’ve spent my RM 50 on FOOD!

-         Working part time as a busker/carnival lady in various shopping malls. Tiring but a very good experience altogether. (now able to facing multiple cameras without awkwardness)And the new friends I made are the main reason for such enthusiasm to work…=p Gonna work for my last odd job of the year on New Year Eve!

-         Refreshing cousin’s wedding dinner at G hotel, Penang. The very first un-chinese meaning Western- style close family wedding dinner I attend. Probably because my uncle and family stays in Australia so not used to organizing Chinese-oriented wedding din. Palatable dishes that came in small portions but filling at the end of the evening!

-         Bought my very first and most expensive gift for a friend’s bday. At first, there was an ultimate intention with sincerity. But think of it, it’s worth giving my all  even when nothing comes back. Having said that, I know what kind of lover I’d turn out in future: the stupid one who gives her best effort kind.When you happen to love, you must at least try and gives your very best. Don’t regret being stupid. Even if he doesn’t appreciate you, I’m sure someone will someday- Junie tells Junie that.

-         My memory only has in store for recent happenings. Can’t recall what I did for the first 10 months of 2008. lolz!
  
Resolutions/ checklist

-         Practise patience for Dad and tolerance with mom. Not forgetting kindness and helpfulness too.

-         Be the “Yes” lady (provided if I have no stronger priorities not to say yes to)

-         Influence and not be influenced by the negativity of people and environment.

-         Practise realness in my faith. Stay exceptionally loving, caring, understanding and humility in the dark just as I would in the light. Sometimes, I wonder why He places me in befriending ALL non-Christian friends. I could have just attend CF like all my uni Christian friends and end up hanging out with ALL Christian friends but I know God has his purpose and this is my opportunity to meet it. All my good friends have one thing in common: they believe in external fun- what they see and what they experience is the only moment they should live for. Thankfully, I had this ingrained disgust to blend in with the crowd just to accommodate what is popular (majority speaking). I beg to differ; yet almost drowned my value in this persistence to be different. And I learnt my lesson. I don’t want to be different. I don’t want to be an alienated Christian. I just want to make a difference just as how Jesus has come into my life. WWJD- will be my ultimate question in responding to this realistic contradiction on my journey as a Christian.

-         I’m tired of thinking.

Happy New Year minna-san (everyone) and that include only a few of you people since this blog is really exclusive. The only friends I shared my blog address to when I first started were Ethan and Elliot and it has stayed that way since. I believe in accidental bumps ( or was it intentional bumping) and so I don’t see the necessity to tell people I blog. Occasionally speaking. Enjoy your last few days of 2008!